


Exactly Like You

by phantomunmasked



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, berena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8213533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomunmasked/pseuds/phantomunmasked
Summary: So...I've had these headcanon type things floating around my harddisk for a couple weeks/months now. Initially, they were meant ask "sketches" for what I planned on writing into full length fics/drabbles. 
But given the general angst and separation anxiety resulting from Bernie's departure, I decided hell, why not put these out there for people to read. Some of y'all might even enjoy them. 
P.S. Title of this series of things inspired by Tony Bennett and k.d. lang's rendition of "Exactly Like You" off their album "A Wonderful World". Go listen to it! Promise you won't regret it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...I've had these headcanon type things floating around my harddisk for a couple weeks/months now. Initially, they were meant ask "sketches" for what I planned on writing into full length fics/drabbles. 
> 
> But given the general angst and separation anxiety resulting from Bernie's departure, I decided hell, why not put these out there for people to read. Some of y'all might even enjoy them. 
> 
> P.S. Title of this series of things inspired by Tony Bennett and k.d. lang's rendition of "Exactly Like You" off their album "A Wonderful World". Go listen to it! Promise you won't regret it.

Serena’s voice is a turn on for Bernie; that low, velvet purr; better than anything any commanding officer had; there were times when Serena’s threats to Bernie proved utterly useless because Bernie had not been able to focus on a single word that Serena was saying.


	2. Chapter 2

Bernie’s shy, puppy-dog eyes do something to Serena; when she thinks she’s done something to upset Serena (and sometimes she does, but most of the time it’s Bernie being hopelessly clueless about when Serena’s teasing) she shuffles into their shared office, a mug of tea held protectively in front of her like a lifeline, a peace offering she really doesn’t need, eyes fixed on her shoes. And Serena feels herself smiling, quite despite herself, and then Bernie looks up at her through those angel-gold bangs, and she’s done, pushing off the edge of the table she was leaning against, unfolding her arms and reaching for the mug of tea. “Just for that, you’re doing the dishes for the week,” she’ll whisper, as she brushes past Bernie, a quick kiss to her lover’s temple and a smirk on her lips as she saunters away.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena holds what she is sure is an unhealthy fascination with Bernie’s scars. Academically, she knows that they are simply lumps of dead skin and tissue; she’d been a surgeon long enough to disassociate herself, when she needed to. 

And yet, the first time that she met Bernie, she could not help but catalogue the raw pink line across the right of her neck, a recent reminder of fractures so expertly repaired by her colleague (really, one day she ought to be nicer to Guy Self). 

When they became regular colleagues, she noticed other scars; smaller, white marks - across Ms Wolfe’s forearm, burns, obviously from some variant of domestic disaster, the gleam of an old scar across an elbow from what could have been a fall from a tree. 

When they became friends, she noted the top of the scar peeking out from Bernie’s shirt, stark against the warm flush the woman’s second whiskey of the night had brought - Serena schooled her tongue and sat on her fingers, resolutely did not reach out to touch the tip of that neat line, determinedly took another gulp of her shiraz even as she caught Bernie’s eyes with her own, an odd darkness in those axinite eyes she could not bring herself to hold. 

When they became lovers, Serena lost herself in the mind-boggling marks across Bernie’s torso, across her back - shrapnel and bullets and plain bad luck, stories from two war zones, reminders that her lover needed no medal to prove her valour, her courage, her compassion. Bernie would let her touch them, trace reverent fingers across the old wounds; needed her to know why and how she kept going back; needed Serena to know how badly she had needed purpose.

 

And the unspoken lay uneasy between them - Bernie has made Serena her purpose now, and sometimes, neither of them are quite sure what to make of it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone expects Bernie to be the one doing the courting, what with her established track record with  _ women. _ Except - it’s Serena who does the wooing, quite unexpectedly. Quietly, without either of them quite realising it, Serena had been worming her way into Bernie’s life. Mugs of tea and offers of being Bernie’s  _ first port of call _ and her  _ big macho army medic  _ looking at her with those eyes, promising in return in that quiet voice that she wanted - no, needed -  _ wanted to make sure that the person working with you had your back _ , because that was how they said  _ I care for you (perhaps too much)  _ in the Army, because that was the only way that Bernie knew how, Bernie with her shy eyes and that hitch in her voice. It wasn’t until Serena had showed up at Bernie’s sad, one-room flat to drag her furniture shopping (Ikea really was a quasi fun-horror no one had to endure alone) that they both thought -  _ perhaps. _


	5. Chapter 5

Bernie tries her hand at gardening. Serena is sceptical about it; Bernie really was the least domestically minded person she could think of. She could cook, yes, but cleaning… that was another matter entirely (as evinced by the state of their office upon her return from _that_ suspension). And so she issues a challenge - keep a potted plant alive in their office before Bernie is allowed to torture any horticulture in the privacy of her own home. And of course the Major rises to the challenge, returns the next day with a small lemon balm plant. Serena merely raises an eyebrow and smirks. Bernie huffs and pouts in response. Days go by, and the plant flourishes; it is not entirely because of Bernie, of course. Serena keeps a weather eye on it, spoons a little more fertiliser in when Bernie has fallen asleep at her desk in their office, smiles a tender smile at the sleeping woman as she fingers a leaf, hitches the blanket she had brought from home (specially for Bernie, because she knew what she was going through, knew how much easier it was to lose consciousness in the ignominious surroundings of your office over your sad, lonely flat) over her slender form. Together they manage to get the plant to flourish, and Serena thinks to herself it’s rather more than worth it when she sees Bernie’s secret smiles at the green leaves (they name it Bertie, for no other reason than it made them both chuckle), takes a deep breath of that familiar scent of lemon and the faintest scent of Bernie, cotton-edged and warm.


	6. Chapter 6

Serena has an MBA from Harvard. Bernie forgets that sometimes; it is oddly compelling, watching Serena charm her way across a work fundraising function. A strategic laugh here, a candid hand on the forearm of some major donor there, a solemn nod as she listened to yet another board-member hold court with his undoubtedly  _ expert  _ medical opinion (Bernie hated them, hated the lot of time-wasting politicians masquerading as benevolent old fogies). Bernie watches no one else that night, barely noting Henrik Hanssen’s presence when he sidles up next to her. They nurse their drinks together for a while, and when Hanssen murmurs “magnificent, isn’t she?” and Bernie cannot help but nod her dumb agreement. Later, when Hanssen stalks away and Serena joins her at the bar, flushed with unholy glee and a triumphant purr of “guess who just scored yet another  _ exclusive  _ contract for Holby,” and parks herself flush against Bernie’s side (so warm, so warm and full of passion and  _ victorious _ ) it is all Bernie can do to take another sip of her whiskey, mutter a vague congratulations. And so it is that Bernie misses the sly look Serena throws her way, nearly chokes on her whiskey when she feels warm lips against her ear and a filthy,  _ filthy  _ promise and the vaguest hint of the nip of teeth at her jaw. She does not get much of a chance to recover before Serena is off again, the spice of her perfume lingering far longer than the smirk and wink tossed Bernie’s way. 


	7. Chapter 7

Bernie is hopeless at recognising popular tunes and music (can’t tell her Cher from Dusty Springfield). However, she can carry a tune. Incidentally, so can Serena. Serena only discovers that Bernie can sing when she stumbles on Bernie sorting the laundry in their bedroom, one fine day. Bernie’s singing a rather charming acapella version of  _ “[Down by the Salley Gardens"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SAH79tM-lc) _ , and Serena leans against the doorjamb, joins in the last verse. Bernie wavers, blushes and looks up. Serena only smiles and takes the pile of towels from her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head as she wanders over to the airing cupboard. 


	8. Chapter 8

The story of how Serena and Bernie end up living together is entirely accidental. It is after Bernie’s divorce from Marcus, and yet she’s still living in the shitty, shitty one room flat that she had holed up in during the process. Serena had come over to celebrate with a good bottle of Shiraz (for herself) and a congratulatory bottle of Lagavulin 16 Year Old (for Bernie). Somewhere along the way Serena muses  _really, Bernie, surely now you can afford to move somewhere nicer,_ and Bernie considers it with a barked laugh and a fond smile.

 

(Serena makes Bernie promise, and she does.)

 

And yet - two months pass, and Bernie’s still living in her shoebox hellhole. Serena decrees enough is enough and physically hauls Bernie to her house that evening, hands Bernie an oversized t-shirt and a pair of pyjama trousers and throws a pillow at her. The next morning, when they both have the day off (the wonders of being in charge of AAU: dictating schedules), Serena drags Bernie to the estate agent’s and by the end of the day they have narrowed it down to three choices.

 

The last of the three choices is the flat above the flower shop around the corner from Serena’s house, and Bernie immediately takes to it, adores the open space and minimalist lines of the (conveniently) already furnished house. Bernie takes the flat and moves in the following weekend. She has Serena and Jason over for dinner; it soon becomes a standing routine, the small comma in Serena and Jason's life that becomes a full stop - dinner at Bernie’s on Thursdays and a fish and chips supper at Serena’s on Tuesdays. Soon Bernie finds herself spending long, lazy afternoons at Serena’s, tucked against her new lover as they do the Sunday crossword. She takes to letting Jason use her flat when she and Serena want a little bit of privacy, and Jason appreciates the space that he has been given. Bits of Bernie come to Serena’s house, and before the end of the year Bernie finds herself murmuring sleepily against Serena’s neck that maybe it would be a good idea for her to move in. Serena only smiles and holds Bernie closer, pats her hip and says “of course”.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean. I really couldn't resist putting Bernie in Kate Lethbridge-Stewart's glasses, could I?

Bernie starts becoming long-sighted. She fights it at first, squinting her way through the day (and earns herself cracking headaches). Serena teases her about it, and Bernie grumbles but gives in because really, she needs her eyes to operate. And so she gets prescription glasses, black framed and sturdy. Serena _adores_ Bernie in them because she looks ever so cute and serious. Serena is especially delighted when Bernie takes to propping the glasses on the top of that familiar head of messy blonde curls when she doesn't need them; when she chews on one leg when she's trying to figure something out (sometimes by doodling, but that's just what Bernie does). 

Bernie hates the design of the glasses, thinks they make her look old and frumpy (they were chosen by Charlotte and Bernie had let her because that choice was a peace offering, a start in the rebuilding of their relationship). Serena tries to persuade her that she's wrong, sneakily snaps photographic proof when Bernie's not looking to show that Berenice Griselda Wolfe does somehow make nerdy look sexy. Serena finds the thrill of catching her lover (and her glasses) unawares on camera exciting, makes it her mission to take ambush selfies with Bernie when she's wearing them,  sidling up with camera in hand and grabbing a selfie just as she plants a kiss on Bernie's cheek. Bernie blushes and tries to duck out of the frame, resulting in a few missed, blurry shots, but after a while, Serena gets the hang of it and Bernie resigns herself to her fate (because  _oh, she does love seeing Serena smile so_ ). 

 

* * *

 

Serena discovers Instagram (thank you, Elinor) and posts all of her ninja-stealth obtained photos. 

Charlotte follows Serena on Instagram, and Bernie knows they are making progress in their shattered relationship when one day, after weeks of lurking, Serena receives a notification that Charlotte had liked a selfie of Serena and Bernie that she'd taken, Bernie uncharacteristically co-operative, smiling fully at the camera, Serena standing behind her, chin resting on the top of Bernie's head.

 

* * *

 

Bernie wanders into their bedroom just before bed, hunting for her glasses. 

Only to find them on Serena, perched daintily on her nose as she leafs through some paperwork.   
  
Bernie glares, hands on her hips as she growls. 

  
  
"I've been looking for those for over an hour!"   
  
"Well it was this or squint!"   
  
"Get your own glasses."   
  
"Shan't. Yours are comfy."    


 

Serena peers at Bernie over the tops of her pilfered glasses, smirks and sticks a tongue out at her lover as she snuggles deeper under the covers. Bernie fold her arms and resists the urge to poke her tongue out in retaliation, moving to loom over Serena.   
  
"Serena..."   
  
"Fine. Here. Put them on and finish reading that mortality statistic report to me, then." 

Serena thrusts the thick sheaf of papers at Bernie, who (rather automatically) springs backwards, frowning.

  
"...Okay _fine_  you can borrow them. But tomorrow we're going to get you a pair."

  
Serena smirks and slides the glasses further up her nose, shuffles her papers and drops a kiss to Bernie's cheek when she gets into bed next to her, huffing slightly. 

  
"Whatever you say, dear." 

  
  
(They don't, of course, and it's Bernie that ends up phoning her optometrist for an identical pair to be made, just so she has an extra when Serena steals them.)


End file.
